Who Do I Prefer the Cavs Play? The Warriors? Or the Thunder?

Monday night, the Oklahoma City Thunder and the Golden State Warriors will play one last game to see who will represent the Western Conference in the NBA Finals against my beloved Cleveland Cavaliers.

I am so excited the Cavs are back in the Finals, the first Cleveland team since the Browns of the 1960s to go to the league's championship in successive seasons. (It's hard to believe that the Indians of the 90s didn't do this. Even when looking back. We had some really good teams.)

They look strong. I try and lean back and observe them as rationally as possible, and this looks like a team that has a really good chance of winning a championship for Cleveland.

I've actually done the most horrific thing a Cleveland fan can ever do during the playoffs: I actually imagined how it will feel to see a Cleveland team win it all.

I know, I know! DANGER!!!

Having faith is what led to Red Right 88 and The Drive, The Fumble, The Jose Mesa (Copyright that. I want a quarter every time someone says it.*), The CC-Sabathia-and-then-Fausto-Carmona-Couldn't-Come-Up-With-One-Solid-Game, Sabathia-Twice! (Okay, that one's never going to catch on). Hey, what about the '09 Cavs getting eliminated by the Orlando Magic after sweeping the two teams before them?

As a Cleveland fan, you CAN NOT let one of these teams lull you into a sense of hope. You just can't. They have a way of taking your small seeds of hope and turning into a bumper crop of pain.

But if they do, for the love of the Sports Gods, have enough sense to not say it out loud! Youth can do that. Seeing how they've seen the Browns make one playoff appearance; the Indians make one since the free-spending days of the 90s; and the Cavs play in two Finals they were really never expected to win; they really don't know the pain.

Old guys like myself know to shut up while the shuttin's good.

Yet, here I am talking about it, wondering how I will feel IF they win.

Joy? Relief? I think it'll be subdued, as an over-celebration is just a reminder that we never win anything. I feel like the rest of the sports world will be looking at us as, "Awwwwww, look how cute. Cleveland won a championship." ESPN will see it as an opportunity to ONCE AGAIN show all the sports miseries of the past 35 years.

Back to that Monday night game, I'm really not sure who to root for. Who would I rather see the Cavaliers play for the NBA Championship? A rematch with the Warriors? Or the a very dangerous Thunder team?

I can throw a lot of reasons out there for playing either team, but the real answer to that question is: It depends on if we are going to win or to lose.

If We Are Going To Win

If we are going to win, then I want Golden State. Oh, do I want Golden State, if we are going to win. Where's the joy in beating the Thunder? Denying a seemingly-nice guy in Kevin Durant a championship? Look, if it's between him and us, (forget) him. I'm not trying to be in his framily anyhow.

So, I don't care who we beat as long as we win. I just think beating Golden State would be so much more satisfying. 

There you go, Steph Curry. You're the only always chewing on something, chew on a loss. Chew on your stupid regular season record and your home court advantage. Chew on the adulation you received from those ESPN pricks.

Oh, and Draymond Green: I was impressed to see you making a sandwich without kicking it in the balls! Good job! I respect the guy's hustle, but I don't respect that the NBA lets him get away with it. How nice it'll be to not see him pounding his chest and acting like a thug.

And I'm not forgetting Klay Thompson......actually, I like Thompson. I can't hate on him. He plays hard, plays great, and is a man when he faces the media. Which is more than I can say for his little backcourt sidekick.

Oh hell, I'll be honest: I like Green, too. If he were Delly, we'd all be defending him. I really just hate Steph Curry and ESPN, and it would be great to rub it in their faces, ON TOP of being world champs. Eat it, eat it, eat it.

If We Are Going To Lose

Oh, hell no I don't want to play Golden State if we are going to lose, no way. I'd rather Justin Bieber and Drake put together a basketball team and beat us.

Losing to the Thunder would suck because losing sucks, but in the long run you could feel good for Durant and for Oklahoma City. (Maybe not so much for Seattle. But, hey, were Seahawk fans crying for us when the Ravens won a SuperBowl? Screw those guys.)

Losing to Golden State would be salt in the wound of losing the championship. It would give all those national guys more gasoline for their Warriors fire that have burned so brightly this season.

Oh God, I can just see Curry up there, of course with his daughter so we all can see that he's a great dad, applause, applause. Shrugging his shoulders when he answers questions like, "Shucks I just don't know how I got to be so awesome". BEING ANY FORM OF HAPPY!!!!!

I don't want to hear it if they lose to Golden State. I don't want to listen to sports talk radio. I don't want to watch ESPN. I don't want to go to any sports websites. Twitter? Are you f*cking kidding me???? 

Yeah, I'm a hater. I don't care. I'm trying to think of anyone in the NBA I like less than Curry. No one comes to mind. Wait, is Joakim Noah still in the league? He is? Okay, then Curry is second.

You know what I would like to see? Curry and Noah on ten speeds go crashing into each other, front tire to front tire, launching them both in a face-to-face - literally - collision. 

Okay, maybe that's going too far. (No, it's not.) But I can feel it, I can feel the pain of that loss that may or may not happen. Heck, Curry and the Warriors still need to beat the Thunder before they can even try beating us.

Still Raining, Still Dreaming

I beg of the aforementioned Sports Gods, please spare of us of this misery. If you won't deliver us a championship, at least let the Thunder have it. I think Cavs fans can live with that. I know I can.

You see, this isn't based on match-ups and analytics. This is based purely on pain. And that's when I realize the saddest truth beneath all of this: While I can only dream of winning, I know the feeling of losing. I imagine a Cleveland team hoisting a trophy. I can turn on 30 For 30 and watch Cleveland teams losing.

This week, the Cavaliers begin a quest to end a drought. In the end, I don't care who we play. I just want them to win.

*Jim Pete, that Spiderman reference was for you.
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